I'll tell you what confusion is.

Confusion is the sight of a man in the subway terminal, simultaneously yawning while running full speed. That very scene was witnessed by me yesterday afternoon, and it made the top of my skull itch.

Yawning plus running full speed...add a few bags of cash, score it with The Zombies "This Will Be Our Year" and you could have the opening scene to the worst heroin-addicted- Olympic-athlete-turned-bank-robber drama ever.

You know what else is confusing? Lindsey Lohan actually having ability to understand the proper use of gravity and not accidentally hovering up into the Earth's atmosphere. Her body is made up of twenty trillion tiny, cocaine-dusted question marks. Each with their own pack of Camel non-filters.


"We have noting to do with this post."

I know, fellas. I know.