There's only one way out of this

...that wasn't it.

Your New Mantra.

Don't fart.

Mine, I mean...that's my new mantra. Especially on the subway, it's selfish otherwise.

Anyway, just because these two dudes are deep within my delicious soul, here's their Rolling Stone cover..

Also, this month, May 22nd to be exact, marks the 15 year anniversary of Carson's Tonight Show departure. How Leno's version still manages to absorb more ratings than Letterman is beyond me. Leno's demo are not of this dimension. The only one that matters. Mine.

I think.

For quite some I was baffled by the fact that, when a person of some sort of importance dies, they suddenly become The Late-so and so...as in The Late Ronald Regan or The Late Boris Yeltsin. I never understood why this post-death title was... until today. See, I was closing in on hour five of my morning marinara bath, you know, when the subconscious and unconscious begin to work some honest-to-god magic and sort out Earth's complicated mysteries...anyway, just like that, the answer came to me. I totally understand why those who die become The Late-so and so.

I thought "Hey, if I were dead, I'd be late for a lot of things too"

I mean, I can't imagine how much time it would take to break through that casket lid...not to mention digging through almost five feet of dirt. With corpse hand, no less. Forget about it.

And knowing my dedication to completing goals...

-The Really Late Billy Nord

Somewhere, someone sneezed..

and then said to me "David Fincher directed the video for Paula Abdul's Cold Hearted Snake"

And then I coughed a question mark.

::OLD JOKE, ALREADY DONE::

OLD JOKE ALERT IS ALL SORTS OF GOING OFF :: The 1987, sci-fi thriller "PREDATOR" had a different working title. Originally, the film was called "TO CATCH A PREDATOR" and instead of the alien having those bizarre dredlocks atop his head, the producers wanted his hair to be comprised of wine cooler bottles and AIM chat logs. :: OLD JOKE ALERT ALL SORTS OF WENT OFF